PART 16 - EVIL Dear Mom, Tonight I completed the last phase of the humanization process and at the beginning of the evening I was so happy. I was certain it would be a night of accomplishments and happiness. Things went great with the final phase of the humanization process. I was out mingling with humans earlier and I was able to control my hunger, and my appetite. It went so well, Eric and I began to plan when we could meet you and where we should go. Eric and I were so excited that the humanization had gone so well that we went over to the Senator’s house to share the news. We also wanted to tell him that we were planning to see you and thought he might like to join us. When we got to the Senator’s house, he was on his way out to the lab and asked us to join him. “ Dyani, Eric, there’s been an incident at the lab, one of the vials of Dyani’s blood was stolen. I can’t imagine how this has happened. Who would do such a thing? The implications are very serious. I keep going over in my mind who could… I’m certain I was careful with my files. I’m sure that there’s no reference to you in them, but you will need to be very careful while we sort this out and we’ll have to keep a close eye on your mother.” We rushed to the lab where the Senator had called an emergency meeting in the cafe’. Everyone was waiting for us as we entered. The Senator began right away, “We have a great team here and we’re making real progress in several areas of research. We have made great progress on a viable synthetic blood option and in our human cancer research. Our AIDS research program is coming along nicely and we’re making real progress in our mission to improve life for both vampires and humans. As you know, we are working hard to put in place our plan to co-exist openly with humans so we can live together and work together to build our community.” “Recently we acquired a very important sample of human blood that we believe will provided answers in our research into the vampire virus. In this research, we believe a breakthrough in the way of an anti-virus is on the horizon that may allow us to emerge from the shadows and go out in the daylight once again. Someone has stolen one of the only two vials of this blood that we have. At this point in the investigation we don’t know who, or why someone would do this? I want everyone to know how vital to our research this vial is, and to continue our mission, we ask that whoever did this, please return the vial to the lab immediately, no questions asked. If it’s in your power or anyone here knows who has the vial, there’s one opportunity open now to leave it in my office. If it is returned voluntarily this evening, we will go forward without question, if we have to track down those responsible, we won’t be so generous and there will be dire consequences.” There were about 25 of us in the cafeteria at the time. I could feel the flurry of emotions. Mainly people were shocked and I felt a few that were deeply concerned, scared and confused. A man in the back raised his hand. “Senator, may I speak?” The Senator nodded. The man continued, “Yesterday I had a discussion with someone who expressed great concern with this line of research and experimentation. This person was concerned, what if humans’ get their hands on the anti-virus and use it to kill us off? I have to say, with all due respect Senator, their are humans that would not hesitate to use this research as a weapon against us.” The Senator in a long gazed around the room spoke purposefully, “As with many medical and technological breakthroughs, in the wrong hands these advancements can be used to cause harm. And while this is true, the Order has determined that the research we’re conducting is far to important to ignore, bury, or dismiss. If what we believe is true, these advancements could lead to the successful integration of vampire and humans to work toward common goals. We must continue our research, and we must step up our security to ensure that this research does not fall into the wrong hands. Now that the vial is missing we must guard our work with extreme vigor.” “Hands were raised and people were asking questions. There were vampires voicing their concerns and their hopes about the potential of our work, what the missing vial meant to that research and what the sample contained that was so important to steal from a secret facility. It had to be an inside job and it left a lot of the people feeling uncomfortable. There was a lot of gazing around the room going on, everyone was looking at one another. I decided to focus my ability to see if I could sense someone feeling guilty. And although there was a lot of fear, concern, and some anger, no one I could sense was harboring feelings that indicated to me they were involved. It’s true I don’t really understand the extent of this ability but I’m certain I would be able to feel if someone was part of the theft. The room was very serious as the Senator spoke and there was nothing to give a guilty party away. There was no doubt that the Senator had a full understanding of the fear this research caused in the population of the order. Change, even for the better can be very difficult, even scary. In large part the discussion was positive and people were open in their ultimate support and it helped everyone to discuss their concerns. And for a moment, I was hopeful that we might come together to get this resolved and find who had taken the sample. Then Rachel raised her hand. “Excuse me Sir, I was the one who shared my fears with Bill, but that was the extent of what I was doing. I can assure you that I had nothing to do with the removal of the sample. And while I am concerned, even scared about the consequences of what could happen if this research falls into the wrong hands, I am equally excited about the possibilities of our future if we are successful. But obviously,…” …then there was a loud crash that came from the direction of the main lab. In a split second everyone focused their attention in that direction of the lab. That’s when I felt it… a chill ran down my spine… and I felt evil, pure evil. I had never really believed in evil before, that all changed in an instant. What I felt pass through me was dark and ancient and full of hate. It was a sick feeling, rancid, dead, rotting… A feeling so sick it’s difficult to put into words, I don’t know how better to describe it. Instinctively, without thought, I screamed and then as quickly as it came, it was gone. Eric in a blur rushed to my side. The room was buzzing with activity, everyone was trying to measure up what just happened and my scream confused them further. I leaned in and whispered to Eric, an equally inadequate description of what I had felt. He asked if it was still present, and I told him no it was gone. After that the Senator and his staff secured the lab, he suggested everyone go home for the night and we closed and locked the lab leaving security staff behind. The Senator was carrying the metal brief case that he placed the remaining vial in earlier as we made our way under heavy guard to his car. We rushed into the back seat of the limo and as soon as the door slammed we were off the the Senators house. On the way I told him what I had felt when we heard the crash and that I unfortunately did not see who was responsible. The Senator listened intently while I again attempted to describe what I had felt. He thought hard and concluded that he has no idea who, or what it may be. This is all the more worrisome, and while the Senator doesn’t think anyone other than Eric, myself, and his roommates know from whom the sample came from, we just don’t know for sure so please be very careful! We’re working diligently to sort this out as soon as possible, but for now, it’s a mystery. I have no idea about what or who produced that… that… evil! Love, Dyani Claire
PART 15 - The Lab Dear Mom, I went to the lab tonight and wow, what a place. Of the 50 or so vampires living here in Sarasota year round, 20-30 of them work at the lab. There are a few vampires who were doctors, nurses, and medical technicians in their former lives and they have taught others laboratory and blood work skills. It’s a very busy place inside but outside you would have no idea what’s going on within. It’s amazing to realize that we’ve driven by this place countless time with no clue what’s going on inside. It’s the old warehouse on 10th Way. At ground level it is a warehouse that was converted to art studio and in the back there is a small storage area for the studio with shelves lining the walls. One of these shelves conceals a hidden door. Once opened, you enter into a nondescript stairwell that leads down to what appears to be to a small root cellar with more shelves. Again, there’s a hinged shelve that hides another door. As you enter the hall you can feel the cool air and then there is one last door that leads to the lab. Once inside the lab, it’s a sterile environment, clean, modern and not at all like the old warehouse above. There are several rooms for research, a library, a cafeteria and an office for Senator Herbert. The team has been working on research into several areas, including AIDS research. Here it’s believed that by understanding the behavior of the AIDS virus, it may lead to answers and further their understanding of the vampire virus. Additionally, the research includes other areas of study, such as experimentation to understand why light is so deadly to vampires and the continuing work toward a sustainable human blood substitute for nourishment. The researchers are all really wonderful and they are eager to work and co-exist with humans. They have so many questions for me and they’re very interested in getting to know more about me and study the transformation scientifically. They also shared with me that there research has yielded some interesting findings and they believe that one day their efforts will help humans find cures for many fatal diseases. The fear of exposure to human disease is nonexistent for us so we can help without concern for our health and we can continue to focus on an effort for hundreds of years, if necessary. The reason for my visit, Jeremy said, was two fold. First, there may be an opportunity to learn more through testing due to my recent transformation. And, he wanted to talk about human-vampire relations to get my perspective and to see if I might have some insight to share. It was a little weird, the researchers were very interested in me with their poking, prodding and their questions. And although they were very professional and I’m committed to the cause, I felt a little like a freak at times… but I guess, I am. I know that’s shocking… And then the conversation took a serious turn, they asked if I believed humans would be ready to learn about the Order. This discussion rapidly became a liveliness exchange of ideas culminating in an outline of how the effort should begin. They are a brilliant lively group and it was a great discussion I’ll share with you when time permits. Then Jeremy took me into his office, something more a kin to a stately library you might expect to find in an old Victorian home, complete with an extensive collection of old books and a wooden rolling ladder to reach the high shelves. Over the fireplace I saw her again. It was obvious the Senator couldn’t bear to hide the portrait of Lily away so he placed it here, in his office where only his inner circle could make the connection if they saw the two of us together. Mom, it’s striking how much I look like Lily. The clothes are from another time and her hair is up, but there’s no mistaking our kinship. I think Jeremy wanted me to know that she was in a safe place. Then we went next door into a smaller lab divided into three parts. This is a restricted access area where top secret experiments take place and at times the research is more dangerous and therefore more isolated. There are two people working in this lab and they conduct the dangerous sunlight research experiments among others including work on the vampire virus. Because of the type of work, this lab is a bit different. From the viewing room you can see inside and it looks more like a human lab because the technicians wear protective gear. Adjacent to the internal lab there is a prep room for researchers to get ready before entering the lab. Because we don’t know how my blood will interact with the vampire virus, protective covering is required for this effort as well. So we entered the prep chamber and got dressed in the gear and went inside the lab. Once inside Jeremy introduced me to Dr. Andrew Thomas and Rachel McKnight who have been working with him to better understand the vampire virus. They brought in two vials of my blood. Jeremy was not specific about where the blood came from, he asked them to look into this sample because he believes it may provide insight into a vampire anti-virus.After the exchange of the sample, introductions, and a quick look around, we left the Dr and Rachel to their work. Outside the lab, we shed our protective gear and headed over to the cafeteria. Earlier I mentioned that the lab is also working on formulating human blood alternatives for vampire nourishment. At the cafe’ Jeremy shared several different options including some trial formulas. Here, a vampire can order human blood provided by a local a blood bank, tainted human blood not suitable for human use but fine for us, a few different animal blood choices, and two newly developed synthetic options. Quite the variety, I’m learning so much here that I never could have imagined… this place is amazing. Although, while I’m working on humanization, I thought it best to avoid human blood no matter what the source or purity, so I opted to try one of the synthetic option. And well, we still have some work to do on that, but it did provide nourishment although not much in the way of satisfaction. It was an interested and exciting night. I wonder what they’ll find as they look into the properties of my blood. Love, Dyani Claire
Part 14 - Eric Dear Jayne, The last few days have been crazy. And I’m guessing mom shared my last few letters with you so I won’t repeat those here. I have to tell you more about Eric. Meeting him was both fortunate and amazing for me. I mean besides being gorgeous, brilliant, thoughtful, charming, compassionate and a great kisser, he’s a really sweet guy. And feel so comfortable around him, he’s amazing. We’ve spent so much time together since that night, the night we met, it seems as if we’ve known each other forever. I mean, it seems as if it wouldn’t be possible for us to grow any closer, but this experience has made our relationship even stronger. Not only do we have so many common interests and I can tell him everything, I also just love his gentle touch. When we pass each other in the hall, we gently, lovingly brush each other. When we’re sitting down, we are always close, touching in some way and usually holding each others hand or sitting with our feet pressed lightly together. I didn’t realize how powerful touch could be. His touch can be gentle, calming, and electric. And through the transformation, his touch has made it all bearable, almost easy. His touch is so calming for me, and at the same time it’s thrilling and exciting. Yet, I get an overwhelming since of safety, a since of being home when I’m with him. I had no idea how wonderful a touch, his touch could be and I know he feels the same way. And then, my thoughts weigh in and I wonder how long this will last. We’ve seen lovers out together as they dote on one another and that true love shines through everything they do. Then, as they live they seem to spend less time hanging on each others words as their attention drifts to other interests. In my past life I always knew there was something missing, now when I feel as positive about myself and my situation as I ever have, I think about how long it will last. Jayne, this feeling is so awesome, the love I have for Eric and the love he has for me is incredible and I want it to last forever. And being immortal, we have an opportunity to be together for a very long time. And I hope we can keep this feeling with us, forever and for always. I can go on and on about Eric but I have to tell you, the group of vampires we live with are amazing in their own right. Eric’s three housemates are over two hundred years old and they migrated from Europe together. The four of them have been housemates together for a quite a while. And they’re all beautiful and brilliant and they are all very good friends who care deeply for one another. Elizabeth and Benjamin are brother and sister and there’s William too. I told mom a lot about them and their past in my last letter, if she hasn’t shared that with you, please ask her to, it’ll explain a lot. Elizabeth and William are a couple and they’ve been together for a very long time and they’re still deeply in love. I hope Eric and I can find a way to, to be like them. Jayne, there’s something important I have to tell you and although it causes me concern, I’m not sure what it all means, yet. Based on what Eric knows, regarding the normal progress and development of a new vampires abilities, I am apparently outpacing normal development significantly. My strength, my hearing and vision are all getting to be much more acute than that of the other vampires. But that’s not all, what’s freaking me out is my ability for telepathy. While it’s normal for vampires to know what humans are thinking and even have a level of mind control, it isn’t normal for us to sense the thoughts of other vampires and I am developing the ability to do that. It is a bit freaky and sort of scary too. I guess I am a bit of a freak even amongst vampires, go figure. To be honest, I hope this ability settles down. It’s a bit disconcerting and I’ve been through enough for a while. Knowing me as well as you do, it’ll be no surprise to you that I would rather not know what others are thinking all the time. I’m working to block out this ability but it takes a lot of effort. If I drop my focus, the feelings flood in and it can be overwhelming. Not to mention, it’s kind of creepy. I feel like I am doing something I shouldn’t, and it’s really starting to bother me, especially when I’m with Eric. I asked him about his life before he was a vampire and he gave me a small tidbit and then quickly changed the subject. That’s when I felt his pain. He harbors deep pain, I could feel it as if it were my own and it hurt. I want to ask him about it. I want to be there for him and help him ease the pain but I realize he doesn’t know that I felt his despair. More importantly, he’s not ready to talk about it, even after all these years. He knows I’m here for him and he knows he can tell me anything. Even so, I want to help him and I feel helpless. I tell myself, if I didn’t have this ability I wouldn’t know he’s holding back, but I do know, so now what? And I’m reluctant to tell him I can feel his pain, I don’t want to scare him off. I wish I could just turn it off, at this point, it’s not that simple. More than that, I want to be able to help Eric find a way to let go of this horrible pain he holds inside. I want to help him sort this out, there must be some way… but how? I wish I knew. One last thing, if all goes as planned I’ll complete the humanization process this week and soon we’ll see each other and you can meet Eric and the others too. I can’t wait to see you, I miss you very much. Take Care and good luck on finals, Dyani Claire
Part 13 - A Bright Future Dear Mom, First off, I don’t what to scare you so I want you to know that Sarasota has never had a history of human attacks from vampires and the Order isn’t aware of anyone from the Darkness here in the area. But as our family may provide some critical information on the vampire condition, the Senator thought it would be good for you and dad to continue taking the precautions we talked about. At night stay diligent, be aware of your surroundings, and keep garlic cloves, oil and capsules on hand and continue to take garlic daily. The Order is running tests on my blood and the results should be in, in a few days. If we find something, we will need to make sure the Order of Darkness doesn’t find out about this research. If we find what is believed to exist in the sample, this could be a hugh breakthrough. The Senator will take me to the lab tomorrow, I can’t wait to see the place and what they’re doing there. Also, I should complete the humanization process this week!! And I can’t wait! If all goes well, I’ll be able to venture out in public soon. It’s been to long since I’ve been out and there are so many things I miss, starting with you and dad. Hopefully we’ll be able to have dinner together very soon, that’s number 1. Also, I can’t wait for you to meet Eric. I’ve told him all about you and dad and he’s looking forward to meeting you both. After that I don’t know, there are so many things I want to catch up on, I don’t really know where to start. Once I can consistently manage the instinct to feed, I can start to have a more normal life. Well, as normal as it can get for me now. Along that line, there are a lot of opportunities and jobs in the Order, from helping with research, working at the academy, to web and IT jobs. In our efforts to improve vampire-human relations, this is a time in the order when we’re going to need strong vampire-human diplomacy to move the efforts of coexistence to the next level and that’s not going to be easy, or happen over night. This I believe is a great opportunity for me, as you know I am a natural leader and because I have recently become a vampire I have close ties to all things human including my wonderful family whom I love dearly. The more I think of the promise and the challenges of coexistence, and as I understand and harness my new powers, the future becomes brighter and more promising than ever before. This is really going to be exciting mom and it’s going to be a busy week. I just can’t wait to see you guys. Mom, with everything we found out about Grandma Lilly, I was thinking, if Grandma Lilly had the anti-virus (or what ever it is) I wonder if Great Aunt Naomi Rose also has it? I wonder how many vampires are in Santa Fe? I’ll have to ask the Senator what he knows about vampire activity in that part of the County. I wonder what she would say if we told her what’s going on. How do you think she would react if we told her what has happened to me. Love you and Miss you, Dyani Claire
Part 12 - Fate Dear Mom, Hi mom, sorry I haven’t written for a few days now. I planned to, and should have, because it’s been very quiet around here. The truth is, I began to worry because it’s been a bit too quiet. So, I decided to take a little time to process the Senator’s story and in doing so, I came to realize why it’s been so quiet. Everyone here is doing the same, each of us are struggling with how to deal with what we’ve learned. I’m especially worried about Eric. Right after we met, before he knew the details of the Senator’s plan for me and my history, he was sure that he would be in serious trouble after biting me. And, he has been trying very hard not to dwell on that possibility during our time together. He also didn’t want to worry me about what his punishment might mean for us and, he had come to terms with the fact that some retribution was waiting for his return. In the meantime, we enjoyed getting to know each other as we focused our attention on one another, and as he helped me adjust to my new life and the transformation. Over the last couple of days though, he’s been quite troubled. Eric’s struggling with the fact that I may have encountered grandmother’s fate. He’s terribly conflicted, he’s been beating himself up about what if I hadn’t transformed, what if I had died after… being bitten. He feels deep remorse about his weakness, not being able to control the urge to bite me. And then there’s the anger. The anger toward the Senator for not telling him about my history, about the real mission. And although what I know goes unspoken by Eric, I can feel his emotions, guilt, remorse, anger. I have to tell you mom, it’s getting… it’s getting really weird. I can sense emotions on a level that’s hard to describe. I can sense feelings and emotions in others in a manner almost as if they’re my own, especially his, especially Eric’s. This sense I have seems to be getting more developed, and is beyond that of most vampires. Most vampires can read and direct human thought but they can’t sense the thought or feelings of other vampires. The sense I have with other vampires isn’t as strong as with humans, it isn’t that I can read their minds in the same way. I don’t know specific thoughts going through someone’s head, but I can close my eyes and feel when someone enters the room. I can feel their being, their presence, and I know their state of mind. Whether they’re happy, angry, threatening, sad. It’s really freaky especially knowing it isn’t common among vampires. Anyway, I’ve been sensing such a torrent of emotions in Eric that it was making my head spin. I can feel what he’s going through and it’s causing him a great deal of distress. I needed him to know that I am here for him, just as he’s been there for me. We’re in this together… he needed to hear this, so I took him into our inner chamber and closed the door. I took his hands and we sat together. I helped him find a calm place in his thoughts. And when he had relaxed, I told him we should talk about his feelings. “Eric”, I started “you need to let this go. You can’t keep blaming yourself. You saved me. I was missing something vital to my well being. My parents did all they could to help me find happiness and fulfillment but I has always had a void, an emptiness I could not fill. I was really worried about my future. I know kids who have made some bad life choices in pursuit of finding themselves, and filling the void within. When I saw you that day. I felt your love and desire, I knew I wanted to be part of your life with such certainty and contentment like I have never felt before. From that moment, the void in me ceased to exist. And now that we know more about my family connection to vampires, I don’t think my actions or yours were a mistake. If the Senator told you what might happen, would you have had the courage to bite me? I think you would have been to scared of what might have happened. And by saving my human life, my spirit would have eventually been consumed by the horrible void that plagued me every waking moment. Now we know more, and although I haven’t made sense of it all, perhaps the study of my blood can help answer some questions as to why I had this void. Put your hand on my heart and feel my thoughts, you’ll know I’m right.” He looked at me and as my words sank in, he knew… he knew I was right. He realized that he had made the right choice for me, for our future and I could feel him let go of his anger. If the Senator hadn’t asked him to do this, we might never have met. Then Eric added, “You should know something Dyani, vampires can direct human thought and feel human emotions. But I don’t know of any cases where a vampire can direct vampire thought or feel other vampire’s emotions, but with you something’s different. I felt it before and then again just now. I can feel your thoughts when you asked me to. You have a strength of will and a power I have never felt or known of before.” I told him about my ability to feel the emotions of the other vampires. He was fascinated and said, “so it’s true”, and he repeated that he had never heard of anything like this before. Then I told him about a feeling I’ve been having recently. “Eric, I think there is some concern from our roommates about me. And that concern is rapidly transforming into a fearfulness and I’m beginning to get worried. If their fear goes unchecked and they become suspicious of me… well, I don’t want any harm to come to the community you all have built here. I need to reassure everyone that the work being done here is very important to me, and I would like to be a part of it if possible. At the same time, I would never want my presence to bring any harm to the work being done here.” We decided to get everyone together to see if we could address their fears. We went to the living room and sat down with Elizabeth and William. I took a moment to get my composure because I really felt that how I handled this would determine the direction of things to come. Then I started, “I want you all to know that I admire your community here and the friendship you all share. And as Eric told me about you both, and Benjamin, and the order in general, I was so excited to be able to be part of such a wonderful, supportive group. What we all learned yesterday does add a level of complication the your lives, to everything you know, and I am very sorry about that. Please know that I want to be a productive member of the Order of the New Dawn and that I want to do my best to help in the efforts of the order. And, I don’t want to bring any harm or complication to you or anyone in the order. I know that having knowledge of my history could be both dangerous and troubling, and I was thinking, for the time being we should keep my family history between us and the Senator. I don’t want anyone harmed by the knowledge of my past or the relationship between my grandmother and Zachary. What do you think?? Elizabeth nodded in agreement. “We don’t know at this point if we can find anything out from your blood, but there is a divide between the two primary vampire orders. I, well we, didn’t know the origination of that divide until yesterday. I mean other than the fact that good people as humans are more likely to be members of New Dawn where bad people with sketchy, violent pasts tend to become members of the Order of the Darkness. And, as a result, the followers of Zachary would love nothing more than to eliminate our way of life. They see benevolence as weakness and our philosophical differences are stark in the way we view humans. I never knew when or how that split began, no more than baser instinct leanings, you know, good vs. evil. Now we know much more about that rift and what put the Senator on his path toward forming the New Dawn Order. And now, having seen the pain in his eyes, and knowing that he has not seen his brother since that day. We have to do our part to help keep this knowledge safe. We don’t want to give the Order of the Darkness anything they could use to stop our efforts, cause Jeremy more pain, or hurt the humans we strive to live in harmony among. If your blood does provide answers to questions of our origin or allow us more freedoms, there will be even more at stake so I say, let’s keep this quiet for now.” “The more I understand about Zachary, the more I know why I am here and committed to the New Dawn,”said William. “While I’ve been a vampire for so long that I don’t have any close human relatives at this point, I will never forget, we are all children of humans and I think I should just tell you what I think. Please don’t take offense, when Eric was sharing how you came to be bitten, and that it was your desire to become a vampire. I was taken back, really confused, and frankly, appalled. I mean, you want this life? Why would you choose this when you had a life, a good life, and in your own words, a loving family. In my experience, the only people who seek this life are not good people. I remember waking up in the morgue at the hospital, it was obviously night, no one was around and it was quiet. I was a military man, an officer in the French army, and there was a lot of death and disease around me. We were half starved and frozen for weeks. When I awoke, I didn’t know what happened, where I was, but I felt different. I felt pretty good physically but I couldn’t remember how I got here. As I became more aware, I realized I was in the morgue. As I lay there, I began to hear things. I could hear talking, so I got out of bed, but I couldn’t see anyone. Where was the talking coming from, I had no idea. I walked over to a mirror to look at myself because I felt very strange. I was in the hospital so I must been injured, but as I looked ay my arms and legs, they were fine but my skin looked a little weird. What injuries did I have? I couldn’t feel pain, but my arms and legs were very pale. And then I began to notice that while there was no pain, I was beginning to feel a hunger well up inside me. I found a mirror down the hall and I seemed to float toward my destination, above the ground, walking didn’t feel quite normal. I will never forget those first few hours. As I looked into the mirror to see what had happened to me, I saw nothing, but the wall behind me. At first I was ecstatic that I was alive, or so I thought, and then as I realized what was happening, I was horrified. I should be dead, what was going on here. I could hear myself scream and then I realized that would bring the nurse or doctor so I quickly hid. A few minutes later she was there and looking around and as I saw her, the hunger swelled in me and I was helpless to control it, I could not resist the desire I felt for her. I bit her and as I was getting my fill, I watched her life begin to drain away. What kind of monster had I become? I had vague memories of that very nurse wrapping me in blankets, putting a cool cloth to my face trying to keep me comfortable as my life left me. Asking me if I knew what had happened to me, who had done this. When I died she was probably the one to cover me. And for her care, I repaid her by trying to drain the life out of her. And what was even worse was the great pleasure I felt as I… the power over her, the warmth, and the sensual connection between us. Somehow, I managed to stop myself and left her lying in a heap on the floor, still breathing. I ran out, and I kept running. I was sure I wouldn’t be able to stop if I started to feed again. The pleasure was too great, so I ran and ran for hours until I was deep in the woods, far away from civilization. I spent a long time there. I fed on the creatures of the forest and I remained away from the path of humans. I don’t know how long I was there, but I had reconciled that this would be my existence, my way of life. Then I was lucky, I met Elizabeth and Benjamin one day. They were living in the wilderness as well. They were also of like mind about feeding on humans and their resistance to it. And they helped me come to terms with life as a vampire. I was very fortunate. Not only did I find some companions, I found my soul mate. I had given up on any thought of that. I assumed I was evil and destined to live a life of evil, a life of isolation.” He paused a moment and then went on “So when I met someone who wanted this life. A healthy young woman who would chose to give up her humanity, the ability to have a family, grow old, and pass in a natural manner as intended, I was to say the least, put-off. I thought you must be doing this for the reasons others choose to become vampires. They seek out life as a vampire for the power, the ability to control humans for personal gratifications and gain, and for the blood lust. I have never know any healthy person to choose this life for any reason other than greed, power, sloth and lust. I was worried about what you were going to do to Eric, to us and to our order. But you are not what I feared. And, I am sorry for jumping to conclusions about you. I’ve never heard of such a condition like yours? I guess, even though I’m over 200 years old, I still have a lot to learn.” He squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and she gentle rubbed his back. Elizabeth added “The philosophy of our order has always been that vampires need to exist in harmony with the humans and other living creatures. And as far as I know, with the expectation of a few that were on their deathbed, those in our order did not choose to become vampires. I think we sometime assume all those who do, do so for the reasons William shared, for the blood lust and the power over humans. Like you, there may be others who have chosen to become vampires for reasons other then evil intent. I’ve learned the hard way not to assume things, to look into facts and learn more about actual events before jumping to conclusions. But, there are times when I need to remind myself of this. It can be to easy to jump to conclusions as I had when we met you. I too am very sorry for that. You deserved better.” Elizabeth took a deep breath, although we don’t actually need to breath. It was for an emotional release no doubt. I knew what she was telling me was hard for her. “When Benjamin and I were human, we lived in a small village in France. Our town was full of elders who were very superstitious and they worked hard to make sure we all learned these rituals and followed suit. We had all sorts of festivals, we had saints for this and saints for that and we prayed for help and guidance. There was no incident or event that we didn’t attibute to one of our saints, angles, or demons. We would never questions why things happened, scared to offend god, our saints or any of the numerous supernatural beings we believed it. Benjamin and I thought we were more enlightened than that and we were going to question why things were. We decided we were not going to live with such restrictions and rituals without question. Our parents were in step with the rest of the village in their beliefs and they were very concerned for our future and what would become of us, if we disobeyed the rules. They loved us deeply but couldn’t understand what we were trying to accomplish. They would shake their heads and cross themselves when they talked about us, our improper behavior, our refusal to wear our crosses, our refusal to hang up our family patron saint in our room, our refusal to follow the rituals of our community. But in reality, we were not really questioning and learning about why things happened, we were using this to disregard the belief of our parents with the same unknowing certainty we accused our parents of having. But we didn’t know that then. Then one day, a stranger came to town with stories of vampires attacking the neighboring town. Benjamin and I thought this was probably a misunderstanding of what happened. Thieves, or others vagabonds were probably using this fear to allow them to pillage a town or get a reward for offering protection. We were certain that there were no such things as vampires. But we didn’t check into what had happened in the other village, we didn’t really question our beliefs. We just took for granted that we were right. When my parents and the rest of the town took all the standard procautions including covering themselves with garlic and placing it around the church and staying in the church that night. And although they pleaded and begged us to join them, Benjamin and I were determined to show them how silly their superstitions were by making it through the night unharmed. We thought we would be catching thieves or other charlatons. Well, obviously we were wrong. When the vampires did come to town and found just Benjamin and I we were dumbfounded and terrified. They fed on us and they enjoyed it unmercifully. Two attacked me and there were three on Benjamin. They laughed and I watched them fill with pleasure as our life force left us. Until that time, I had never believed in evil but I do now. I don’t know which was worse, the realization that our belief was wrong, knowing our parents greatest fear had just been realized or the violation of having our life force sucked from us by these evil creatures. When we awoke, we were in the crypt covered with garlic and holy water. The garlic was agonizingly painful but as it had only been applied outside our wounds, it hadn’t stopped the virus from spreading within us. We of course knew nothing of this at the time. Holy water doesn’t have any effect but that superstition still existing even today. The elders didn’t realize that the garlic applied in this way would be ineffective in stopping the transformation so they thought between the garlic and the Holy water, they had allowed us to die rather than wander the earth as the undead. Mom and dad placed a few of our favorite things with us. My doll, a sword Benjamin loved as a child among other things. They had packed us some money and food for our journey, hoping the garlic would allow us to take the journey to the other side. When we awoke, our first thought was to talk to our parents but we knew they would only see us as evil and it would tear them apart. We quickly decided it would be best for the village for us to sneak away into the wood. And then the hunger hit. Between their fear and our hunger, we were worried we would do harm if we stayed near. We beleived if they thought we had remained dead, they would be able to live their lives knowing they had done all they could do for us. If they know we would forever walk among the night spirits, they would never forgive themselves or us so we carefully left town. We were weak and hungry and after watching those who feed on us, we knew what we were craving but we were determined not be like those who had feed on us. We found ourselves in the wood and learned that we could feed on animals. We decided to live in the woods and build ourselves a small cabin. We learned in time to appreciate our physical changes. We could see and hear nature unlike ever before. We could run and swim and ski. We had strength and stamina and we learned to accept ourselves and even grew to appreciate our strength. After a time, we found William and in him we found a kindred spirit and became good friends. I miss my parents everyday still. I miss seeing them and I missed out on planning a wedding with my mom, giving them grandchildren, and helping tend for them in their old age. There were several times, when they were living, that I stopped by our house and peek in at them in the middle of the night. They kept our room just as we had, although they placed the relics and icons back as if they could would now save our soles. It’s been 200 years but the pain and sadness is never far. William wrapped her in his arms and kissed her head. He was so gentle and kind. I told her how very sorry I was and how I had not intended to bring painful memories back. “No Dyani”, Elizabeth said, “it is my cross to bear and the pain reminds me of them so I never shy away from it.” They told me more about their life before coming to the US. They made a pact on feeding rules as they knew they had to be sure of their rules before the hunger hit. They developed a code to live by and they ventured back into civilization. They found a small village where they would occasionally feed off of people who were dying and they would be sure to place garlic in the wound so not to create new vampires. They would also do good deeds for humans, to help balance their past deeds. They took the opportunity to learn and then would use their knowledge to help the villagers. They managed to carve out a life, with a home in the woods among the nature they loved and peaceful interactions with the villagers. And when everything was going along nicely, with there lives comfortable and fulfilling, their greatest fear was realized. A group of evil vampires rolled into town and they began killing villagers at will. The peaceful interactions between the villagers, Elizabeth, William, and Benjamin had given the people a sense of comfortable around vampires and so they had no fear of them. They were fond of the three and knew their benevolent nature. These new vampires swept in and fed on the villagers with little resistance. Elizabeth told me they spent hours going from body to body to carefully treat them to make sure they didn’t transform. The three fought hard to fend off the evil vampires and teach the villagers how to protect themselves against future attacks, but the damage was done. The villagers became naturally fearful of all vampires and they worried that, at any time they too would snap and decide to feed. So once again, they moved back into the woods and lived there quietly for many years until they learned of the Order of the New Dawn. They had felt so helpless not being able to address the evil being done by the other vampires. They were exciting to find out about the Sarasota order and they worked for years with the Senator to develop many of the guidelines and principles the order lives by. They decided they would allow themselves to be hopeful once more. But they wanted me to know that as we work to interact more closely with humans, we need to work diligently to make sure our inroads don’t get used by the others for more pain and suffering. “We cannot let them use us and our knowledge to purpetuate their evil. We must protect the humans from these evil creatures.” They let me know in no uncertain terms that they are fully committed to this effort. I realize now, the fear that I felt from them wasn’t about the fact that I’m different or that I’m a threat to their way of life. No, it was a fear for me, for the safety of the order, and for humanity. Mom, these guys are amazing! Not at all what I would have imagined… what vampires would be like, if I had believed in vampires at all. They’re just amazing! It’s getting early so I’ll stop here. I love and miss you. Dyani
darthvee asked: Claro, eu aguento. Que tipos de seres?
Espiritos, lobisomens, demonios ou diabos. Nunca sei qual é…
Dear Jayne, What a relief, I’m so glad you didn’t freak-out too much. I got your note, you goof. I’m really glad I can talk to you about this. I’ve missed you so much. I’ve been writing to my mom but, some of the things I see are pretty tough and she’s going through so much with me already. I mean, I don’t want to completely freak her out. And then there are some things I’m not really comfortable with telling my mom, like how completely hot Eric is. Maybe it is because he’s a vampire, maybe he was like that as a human but man, he’s gorgeous. When I first saw him, I had never in my life wanted anything as badly as I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, it was crazy. When he did, he sent chills through me and well after the bite it was a bit freaky but now, I still can’t get enough of him. I guess never having been in love before I didn’t know what it would feel like. Although it’s been a whirlwind, I’m adjusting nicely to life as a vampire and it seems to suit me well, I feel much more comfortable in my skin now. I apparently had, like a chemical imbalance but not due to any normal human illness, instead it was due to a vampire infection for lack of a better explanation. I still feel like I have a foot in both places however. Not that long ago I was human, I grew-up with all the human trappings and I do miss many of the cherished human activities, like seeing the sunset. Now that’s one thing that I really hope to be able to do again, some day. Most of the vampires I’ve met have been vampires for a long time and have no close living human relatives or friends. So while they enjoy going out among humans, they don’t need the same type of contact I still want and need with my family and my human best friend. Sometimes, I just wander through town late at night. I stop by my mom’s house before getting back to see Eric. Some nights I just like to watch humans do mundane normal things. Sometimes it’s rather humorous. Other nights I see people doing horrible things to one another. Can’t realize understand how fragile and precious life is? They can’t realize it and behave the way they do. It really is disturbing. Similarly, some vampires are evil. These vampires can do terrible things to people as well as to each other, and I tell you, it seems people can be just as evil to each one another sometimes. But I don’t want to talk about that now, I just want to say I really miss you and I am very glad that you’re still my bud. It means a lot to me to be able to talk to you still. BTW how did finals go? Did Martin stay in class? I’m sorry to hear your folks are still the same, it sounded like they were really going to try and work on things last time we spoke. I’ll stop by and look at your place. I am so happy you are out of the house. Leave me a note when you have a chance. And remember, destroy this one, seriously, you have to. Love DyaniPart 11 - Alliance
Hi Dyani, I hope it’s OK to write… and please don’t be upset with your mom. I mean, you can’t be upset with her for telling me that you’re OK. You see, when you disappeared without a trace, we were all so worried about you. The first day or two, I told myself that you were OK and, you just needed some time to yourself. As the days went on, I got really scared, and worried that you might be hid away in some nut jobs house or….. worse. I didn’t want to show your mom my fear, she had enough to worry about, but… she knows me way to well and I think she knew exactly how I was feeling. In order to keep it together, I kept myself busy with school, fencing and helping your mom look for you. You know me, that’s how I deal with, well stuff. For me it’s better to keep moving than to stop and think about reality, but eventually it catches up to me, and this time it really hit me hard. When the water works started, they were flowing big time and your mom couldn’t hold it in any longer. She just blurted it out, she said you had contacted her recently in a letter. She was pretty vague, but just wanted me to know that you were ok. It was an odd conversation, your mom can’t lie to save her life so when I said that I was so glad to know you’re alive and OK, the look on her face was very strange. She said she couldn’t really tell me anything now but, she just wanted me to know you’re ok and, she would have to leave it at that. She thought maybe I would like to write you a note and if so, she would leave it for you. I thought it would give me a chance to tell you how happy I am to know that you’re OK. You know I have always admired you so. And while we’ve both had our demons, you’ve helped me realize that I could leave mine behind, but… you had to keep yours… with you. Even so, you never let that stop you, or slow you down. Dyani, without your shoulder to cry on, your wisdom you so generously share, and your ears to hear my cries, I would not be where I am. Rather, I would be following in my mother’s foot tracks. I can’t thank you enough for helping me get through… through to the other side. And I have always known that you would find a way through as well. You have a good heart and a brilliant mind, a great friend and a true one of a kind. I need you to know this without question, I am your friend no matter what! And I’ll always be your friend… so if you can find it in your heart to let me back into your world, whatever has happened, what ever it is, please know, I will keep your secret safe. No matter what it is, you can count on me, you can count on that. But if for some reason you can’t let me back in, please know that it was your strength, wisdom, and friendship that have helped me survive my childhood, and my tween years, and I’m out of the house now. I have a part-time job and my own place. and while it’s tiny, it mine! Oh yea, school is going well, I can begin to see a future in front of me now. Finals are next week!! My parents are still the same and they keep trying to tell me I’m not college material. But, with you and your parents help, I got the fencing scholarship I was after and I will always be thankful to you and your family for that.!! And, I’ll show my folks how wrong they are… about me. I will graduate! Your friend always, JaynePart 10 - Friendship







